Ep 06: Before You Go Forward Look Back The First Step Examining Your Family of Origin

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[SPEAKER_00]: What if the reason you keep struggling with the same patterns today has less to do with where you are and more to do with where you came from?

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[SPEAKER_00]: It's probably something you haven't considered, but you might want to take a closer look.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Before you try to change what you're doing, take a look at where you learn to do it.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Because some of the ways you relate, believe, and respond today were being formed long before you were old enough to understand what was happening.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Today, I'm going to give you one first step.

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[SPEAKER_00]: The one first step you can take if you're ready to move from stuck to break through.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, welcome to the biblical film room, a place where we slow down, reflect, and let scripture examine our lives so we can grow in truth, walk in freedom, and live out our identity and Christ.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I Michael Jerome your host.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Thanks for tuning in.

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[SPEAKER_00]: In our last episode, we talked about the cost of staying stuck.

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[SPEAKER_00]: We asked the question, do you want to get well?

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[SPEAKER_00]: But wanting change creates another question.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Where do I start?

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[SPEAKER_00]: Most advice tells people what to do next.

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[SPEAKER_00]: But doesn't always tell them where to begin.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm not going to give you five things to do today.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm giving you one.

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[SPEAKER_00]: The one step, the first step forward is a courageous look backward.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Look backward and begin examining your family of origin.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Not to blame, not to live in the past or diagnose your parents or excuse your behavior, but to understand your formation.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Your primary caregivers help shape your early understanding of many things, such as love, a safety, trust, authority, conflict, identity, what else, belonging, affection, rejection,

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[SPEAKER_00]: Long before we had the language to explain relationships.

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[SPEAKER_00]: we were learning what relationships were supposed to feel like.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, the attachment style, you operate in today, whether it's anxious, preoccupied, avoidant dismissive, fearful, disorganized, or secure, was learned and developed in your primary family.

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[SPEAKER_00]: The family is often our first classroom for belonging.

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[SPEAKER_00]: What did you learn about belonging in your first home?

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[SPEAKER_00]: Now, if you're thinking I learned I've longed in the kitchen, helping with the dishes after dinner, that then what did that teach you?

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[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, seriously now, what's the easy and safe to be yourself growing up?

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[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, did you receive lots of hugs and compliments?

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[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, did you feel like you had to perform to feel good about yourself?

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[SPEAKER_00]: Or did you isolate in your room to avoid being seen?

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[SPEAKER_00]: We're going to look at a biblical example of what two boys learn about belonging in their home and how it would impact their relationship into adulthood.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Jacob and E saw a close-up of a dysfunctional family and this family was as dysfunctional as it gets.

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[SPEAKER_00]: We'll see in the story a lot of chaos, but we're going to start from the beginning and we're going to look at a story in Genesis chapter 25 I want to encourage you to read from chapter 25 through chapter 33 if you really want to get a good picture and snapshot of family of origin and how it impacts you.

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[SPEAKER_00]: and how it interprets your reality and in your relationships today study study out Genesis 25 through 33 okay so we're gonna look at one verse verse 28 Isaac who had a taste for a while game love isa but Rebecca love Jacob

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[SPEAKER_00]: There we have a snapshot of our first clue.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Isaac, favorite, he saw, and Rebecca, favorite Jacob.

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[SPEAKER_00]: You see what's happening here?

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[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, in this particular family, favoritism was the dynamic and norm in this home.

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[SPEAKER_00]: favoritism often says, you are important because you can do something that benefits or accommodate me.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I am pleased because you do something that makes me happy and you are better than other people, even your own siblings.

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[SPEAKER_00]: This may not be your story, but there are other selfish traits that people learn from their primary care giver.

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[SPEAKER_00]: You know, I want to met with a couple where the wife really struggled with criticism of her husband constantly.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And when I met with her, I want to want, I discovered that she grew up in a home where she never felt like she was enough and that possibly other siblings were favored over her.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And she heard nothing but criticism and comparison.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And that's a big deal that was part of this person's story that operated in her current marital relationship.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Now, let's get back to our story, the Jacob and he saw.

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[SPEAKER_00]: You know, here are some of the subsequent fallouts as a result of the favoritism.

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[SPEAKER_00]: If you skip down in verse 29, now these boys, they're adults, okay, and they're living in the home there that says, once when Jacob was cooking some stew, he saw came in from the open country, famished.

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[SPEAKER_00]: He said, let me have some of that red stew on famished.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Jacob replied,

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[SPEAKER_00]: What is the birthright worth to me?

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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm about to die.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And Jacob said, no, swear to me first.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So he swore and oath to him, selling his birthright to Jacob.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So I saw despise his birthright.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And then, further on, in Genesis chapter 27, you see a picture of this interaction, this family dynamic.

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[SPEAKER_00]: It's on full display here in chapter 27.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And so Isaac's getting old.

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[SPEAKER_00]: He's about to die.

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[SPEAKER_00]: He reaches a point where he's gonna give his blessing to the first born.

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[SPEAKER_00]: He calls in ESA, says, I want you to go out and kill some game and bring it back and prepare it and give it to me and then I'm gonna give you my blessing.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Meanwhile, Rebecca's in the background, she hears this conversation going on.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So she's these dropping in.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Of course, she favors her younger son and wants him to have the blessing.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So,

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[SPEAKER_00]: Rebecca encouraged his Jacob to deceive his father and still a blessing from his brother as the first born.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so that happens.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And so he comes in, he dresses and clothes that make it appear that it was Esau, deceased his father, father Isaac gives Jacob the blessing.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Esau comes in from hunting, and it's told that the blessing was already given to his younger brother.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And he saw a change of mind with pleading and tears, but to no avail.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And so after that, you know, then Rebecca sends Jacob away, because, you know, she's a Snoop and a Noah doll and discovers her oldest son, Esau, whom she conspired against once the kill Jacob.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So she protects Jacob from the consequences of all his deceit and manipulation and then sends him away.

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[SPEAKER_00]: You know, here are the outcomes of the damage done to the two brothers experiencing favoritism for the one and against the other.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Jacob, you see, deceit, manipulation, sought blessing and position to feel secure.

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[SPEAKER_00]: He lacked integrity and ran from responsibility.

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[SPEAKER_00]: He saw,

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[SPEAKER_00]: impulsive decision-maker, resentful, and vengeful, angry, and bitter, relationally distant from his brother, and an entrenchment from both of his parents.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Man, go figure, I mean, there's no surprise that this was the results of these men as they grew up into adulthood.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Man, their family environment became part of the formation of how they related, believe, and respond it.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And you see this in their lives, if you continue to read the story on these guys.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, imagine what Jacob believed he had to do to receive what he wanted, possibly

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[SPEAKER_00]: That's probably likely what he was feeling and thinking.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And what do you think he saw believe about what happened taking away from him?

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[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, he sought the blessing with tears.

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[SPEAKER_00]: He probably believed he was entitled to what was rightfully his and he was wrong and it should have been made right.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And to some extent, I agree.

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[SPEAKER_00]: But it despises birthright from the very beginning.

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[SPEAKER_00]: The book of Hebrews calls him gotless and warns us not to be like him.

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[SPEAKER_00]: He probably felt like he had the right to take revenge, to hate his parents, and to desire to kill his brother.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And you know what?

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[SPEAKER_00]: He made life hell for his parents.

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[SPEAKER_00]: With the choices he made, particularly the women he chose to marry.

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[SPEAKER_00]: favoritism, competition, deception, and unmet desires shaped the brother's relationship and completely disrupted it.

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[SPEAKER_00]: They were estranged from each other for many years.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Now, our family of origin doesn't determine our future, but it can influence the lens through which we interpret our present.

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[SPEAKER_00]: The Bible chronicles a Jacob's entire life.

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[SPEAKER_00]: We can see it throughout the rest of the book of Genesis, and he struggled with showing favoritism in his marriages to Leah and Rachel, and favored his youngest son, Joseph, over the other sons.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And then, due to the hard life, the same life's hard.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And he probably was the inventor of this statement.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, life is hard, but it's harder for the hard heart it.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And yet, just like Jacob, what we learn in our family of origin can become what we live.

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[SPEAKER_00]: If you learn love was earned, for instance, you may become a people pleaser.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe conflict was unsafe.

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[SPEAKER_00]: If so, you may tend to avoid difficult conversations.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And that was me.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So working progress, still working on that, growing in it, but still working on it.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Did you grow up in a home where emotions were dismissed, then you'd possibly struggle to identify or express them.

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[SPEAKER_00]: If control created safety, you may struggle to trust.

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[SPEAKER_00]: There are those who grew up being responsible for everyone else's emotions.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Those individuals usually struggle with boundaries.

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[SPEAKER_00]: What about affirmation?

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[SPEAKER_00]: If it was inconsistent, you may constantly seek validation.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, can you relate to any of these family conditions?

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[SPEAKER_00]: This so, listen to me.

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[SPEAKER_00]: What you learned in your family of origin may explain some of your patterns, but it doesn't have to become your permanent identity.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Your family of origin may have shaped you, but it doesn't have the final word about you.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Remember the GRA in the Grace Framework?

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[SPEAKER_00]: You know, the G got loves you just as you are.

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[SPEAKER_00]: The R refuses to leave you there, and the A affirms your identity and worth.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Your family may have communicated you aren't enough.

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[SPEAKER_00]: But Christ, and his grace says, he belonged to me.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Your family may have taught.

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[SPEAKER_00]: you have to perform to be loved.

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[SPEAKER_00]: But Grace says, your identity is received, not achieved.

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[SPEAKER_00]: People might not recognize your value, but they don't get to assign a value less than the one you have already received from God.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And so I talked about the one first step earlier, and this podcast episode is not going to be very long because I'm just going to get to the point that one first step, I want to introduce it here is not revolutionary, but it's important, but it could be revolutionary though depends on how you take it here it is create a family of origin inventory.

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[SPEAKER_00]: family of origin inventory.

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[SPEAKER_00]: You know, I want to encourage you to find a quiet place and block out some time and reflect on the following.

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[SPEAKER_00]: What did my family teach me explicitly or implicitly about belonging, love, conflict, emotion, success, failure and God?

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[SPEAKER_00]: Right down what comes the mind.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Really take some time to do this.

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[SPEAKER_00]: write down that list.

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[SPEAKER_00]: But don't try to solve judge or fix it.

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[SPEAKER_00]: You know, just notice it.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Just notice it.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I want to give you a list of prompts you might want to use.

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[SPEAKER_00]: In my home, love felt like dot dot dot.

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[SPEAKER_00]: To belong, I learned I had to fill in the blank.

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[SPEAKER_00]: When someone was angry,

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[SPEAKER_00]: What happened?

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[SPEAKER_00]: When I was sad, what was the result?

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[SPEAKER_00]: When I failed, this was the outcome.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Conflict was handled by

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[SPEAKER_00]: But I don't know, maybe just people shutting down or yelling.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I learned that asking for help meant, what did it mean?

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[SPEAKER_00]: I learned that God was, what'd you learn about God in your family of origin?

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[SPEAKER_00]: Or did you learn anything about God?

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[SPEAKER_00]: But don't try to figure everything out today, that day.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Just start noticing.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, that's your one step.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And please, please take it to heart.

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[SPEAKER_00]: You really need to do this if you've been stuck in a negative pattern and unhealthy relationship.

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[SPEAKER_00]: If you struggle with procrastination or perfectionism, you need to do this.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Okay?

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[SPEAKER_00]: It would be good for you to take the time.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I recommend this.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Here's the reason, guys.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I recommend this because I repeatedly see these themes show up in counseling.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I've seen it in my own life, and I've heard it from client after client, even the client that I mentioned to you earlier, I saw pretty quickly that the criticism that was coming up in her marriage, it wasn't so much about the dynamic in the marriage, it is more so about what she had learned in her family of origin, okay, so when you do this assignment, this this family of origin inventory,

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[SPEAKER_00]: The goal isn't merely remembering childhood and childhood pain.

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[SPEAKER_00]: It's connecting the dots.

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[SPEAKER_00]: It's connecting the dots.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Does that make sense?

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[SPEAKER_00]: You're connecting dots.

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[SPEAKER_00]: You're trying to figure out, okay, why do I have this certain pattern?

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[SPEAKER_00]: Because here's the thing.

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[SPEAKER_00]: You can't begin changing a pattern.

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[SPEAKER_00]: You can't see.

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[SPEAKER_00]: But when you begin seeing the connection between what you learn, what you believe, and how you respond, you have a starting point for transformation.

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[SPEAKER_00]: That's good news.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So looking backward can help you begin to understand why you respond the way you do.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Why certain relationships trigger you, why belonging feels difficult, why you perform, why you tend to hide.

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[SPEAKER_00]: why you struggle with boundaries.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And ultimately, it can help you distinguish between what you learned about yourself and what God says is actually true about you.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And that's the bridge.

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[SPEAKER_00]: You know, reflect on family of origin, leads to awareness, and how to awareness, these examining truth through the lens of scripture

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[SPEAKER_00]: and the identity and access processes that leads to transformation.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So here's some film room takeaways that I have for you.

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[SPEAKER_00]: You've got four.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Number one, your family origin may explain your patterns.

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[SPEAKER_00]: but it doesn't have to determine your future, okay?

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[SPEAKER_00]: Number two, you can't change what you haven't learned to recognize.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Number three, before you try to do something different, understand what taught you to do it in the first place.

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[SPEAKER_00]: That's a good place to start.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And number four, look backward, not to live there, but to understand what you're caring forward, because sometimes the first step forward is a courageous look backward.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe it's time to take that step of courage today.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And so,

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[SPEAKER_00]: If you begin this process and realize you're uncovering things that are difficult to navigate alone, that's exactly where counseling can help.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I'd love to invite you to schedule a complimentary 30-minute discovery call with me through a space of grace counseling, and we'll talk about your story, what you're discovering, and whether biblical counseling might be a good next step for you.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So I want to go ahead and lead us in our locker room prayer at this time.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Father, give us the courage to look backward without getting stuck there.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Help us see what shaped us, bring those things into your truth, and remember that our past may explain us, but it does not have to define us.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Show us who we are in Christ and give us courage to take the next step.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Hey man.

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[SPEAKER_00]: All right.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So here's your assignment for this week.

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[SPEAKER_00]: It's just when they reiterate.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Don't don't try to fix everything.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Just look as you're doing this family of origin inventory.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Take some time to examine your family of origin and ask yourself, What did I learn about the longing, love, conflict, emotions and identity?

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[SPEAKER_00]: Because sometimes before you can go forward, you have to be willing to look backward.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And next time, we're going to highlight a real life example.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to share a client story.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe several that shows what can happen when someone is willing to look backward, not to stay there, but to finally understand what they've been caring for.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Because when you understand the pattern, you can begin to interrupt the pattern.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So you don't want to miss that sub-assult.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So hit that subscribe button so that you don't miss any future episodes.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And please drop a comment in the chat.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I still would love to hear from you.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So go ahead and drop a comment in the chat.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And as always, share the podcast.

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[SPEAKER_00]: It just might bring clarity to someone's spiritual direction.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Thanks for joining me today.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, go be a world changer, but not a stranger.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So I'll see you next time in the biblical film room where God's Word becomes the replay that changes your life.

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[SPEAKER_00]: See you soon.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Adios!