Why Conventional Wisdom is Keeping You Stuck: Renewing Your Mind for Real Change

The Trap of Conventional Wisdom

Some of the advice you've been given to get unstuck is actually keeping you stuck. Advice that would be considered conventional wisdom. Doing the thing everyone else is doing or that people say you should be doing.

The thing that we are doing is usually what someone else has prescribed and declared what will work for us. Now, I'm not debating whether what people are telling you is good or bad. And certainly we should be seeking wise counsel from others we trust and respect.

But let me ask you a question that I would like you to, that I would like to challenge you to deeply reflect on. And this is a question someone asked me. What would happen in your life if you began to face and let go of your limiting beliefs?

What would the possibilities in your life look like? When you decide to be sick and tired of being broke or not living up to your potential or not having the relationship you want, please lean into that for a moment.

Welcome to the Biblical Film Room, a place where we slow down, reflect, and let Scripture examine our lives so that we can grow in truth, walk in freedom, and live out our identity in Christ. I'm Michael Jerome. Thanks for joining.

Today I'm going to identify the three common myths that I see in my industry, which is professional counseling services and pastoral care ministry, that keep people stuck in patterns that prevent them from experiencing the outcomes they desire and the ones that God desires for them.

Here they are. Let's just jump right in. Myth number one, therapy, self-help will fix me. Myth number two, the word just followed by a religious solution. And myth number three, if we simply get connected into more community, then people's lives will work better.

Now the problem with all three is that they can subtly put the answer somewhere other than where scripture ultimately points us. And that's to mind renewal through encountering the person of Christ. Being renewed in the attitude of your mind.

Myth 1: Therapy or Self-Help Will Fix Me

Before I dive into this concept, I want to unpack the myths a little more. Myth number one: Therapy or self-help will fix me. Now, hey, I'm a biblical counselor, so I'm not down on counseling, not down on professional services.

But I want to differentiate a valuable tool, resource from an ultimate source of transformation. And so therapy can definitely help people understand patterns. And counseling can provide language for experiences.

Cause sometimes we struggle with explaining what's going on, how we are feeling. And good counseling can create space for honesty and reflection, accountability and growth. And of course, books, podcasts, courses, self-help resources can provide useful information.

And yet information is helpful and leaves valuable clues, but the work the information points to is where people tend to fall short. Okay. And because counseling only works for you when you allow it to work on you.

I have seen a number of people come into my counseling space looking for counseling to work for them and yet not on them, but on someone else, like their spouse or partner.

The counseling space is a place where you have to be mindful of the human tendency to rely on the counselor for the answers instead of seeking to go deeper into God's truth, deeper into his word. And that is why I practice biblical counseling.

Because we need God's wisdom in helping us discern our heart's own motives, lest we become self-deceived. And self-help can become self-deception if not sought wisely.

Involving biblical truth is wise because Jesus, the wonderful counselor, is wiser and more perceptive and insightful than any therapist or counselor that's ever lived. So while professional counseling and self-help materials can be useful, the consensus can view them as the cure-all-be-all.

And that's where the danger lies. In a similar way, people can rely on medication to control blood pressure and diabetes while failing to address lifestyle habits such as unhealthy eating and a lack of exercise.

So when someone continually accumulates books, more podcasts, another course, another assessment, another strategy, seeking help to get unstuck, but never goes deeper into the truth about God, themselves, and their environment, the problem just gets worse, not better.

Myth 2: The Danger of the Word "Just"

If we're not careful as believers in Christ, the wisdom of this world becomes more appealing and plausible than the wisdom of God. I mean, a number of years ago, I actually found myself in this very place, you know, looking for outside sources entirely when I didn't know what it meant to really go deeper with God.

I was afraid of what that might look like and what it might cost me. And so I am not down on professional therapy and counseling or investing in self-help materials and courses. As I've said, they can be very helpful tools and resources. They've helped me.

However, the goal of counseling isn't to make you dependent on your counselor. It should help you become more honest, more aware, more responsible, and ultimately more capable of living and walking in truth. Because Jesus says holding to the truth is really what sets us free and sets us free indeed.

So myth number two, the word just followed by a trite phrase. Now, this myth is a huge, huge problem for me. Very, very, very problematic. I feel great discomfort when I hear a pastor or a religious influencer say, take it to the cross, worship through it.

These are true statements. Truth for sure. You know where my tension point is? The word just. Let me give you an example. Just pray about it. Just trust God. Just have more faith. Just forgive them. Just let it go. Just stop worrying. All you have to do is just. Accurate but incomplete.

When I hear just in the church from the pulpit, man, you just lost me. Hey, I just checked out. Here's the reason. The word just can turn a complex human struggle into a simplistic instruction.

One particular case, a popular case, is when an older single man or woman in the church is looking for a life partner and wrestling with the complexity of dating in 2026. And a well meaning but ignorant person proclaims, just trust God, or you need to just be more patient, or you need to just pray about it.

Someone may genuinely need to pray more and be more patient and trust God more, but still they may need to be understood, not fixed or offered trite solutions. Because feeling misunderstood in your pain can feel really tough.

It feels like a double wound, actually. You know, wound number one, man, I'm going through the struggle. Wound number two, I'm feeling misunderstood in the struggle. It's a double pain. It's a double wound.

People need to know that someone's praying for them because it takes time, people need time and distance to process things a lot of times. And so just is a shortcut around transformation. It's not, it's not just do it like Nike.

It's not easy to just do it. This isn't Nike. This is we're talking about people's lives and sometimes people's livelihoods. And speaking of Nike, I mean elite athletes, the best of the best, usually don't take shortcuts to achieve the highest level of excellence.

There's no shortcut in nutritional intake, detailed practices on the field, weightlifting in the gym, I mean getting after it and film study. There's no just lift weights. There's no just do this. There's more to it than that.

Encouraging more faith, prayer, Bible study isn't pretending the struggle isn't complicated. I mean, these spiritual disciplines bring the complexity of the struggle, honestly, into a relationship with God. And people need to be taught how to do this.

Hey, I'm so thankful that Jesus doesn't instruct us to just blank. He models for us what that looks like within the struggle. I mean, Hebrews 4:15 says we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses.

But he's been tempted in every way, just as we are. And yet he was without sin. And we can approach that throne of grace with confidence to receive mercy and find grace, man, to help us in our time of need. So there's no just do something with him. We can go to him.

Myth 3: Proximity Equals Healthy Community

Myth number three: if people get more connected in community, they'll become healthy. Hey, that's a myth because connection and community is a beautiful thing and very needed indeed.

The issue is the gap between calling people into community and actually modeling and equipping people for a healthy community. And this is something that is greatly overlooked in many church spaces.

As someone who spent nearly two decades in full-time or lay pastoral care ministry, I saw this problem pretty clearly and still see some of the gaps in that mindset today. I mean churches may say, get connected, join a small group, you need community. Don't do life alone.

All those are great invitations. Accurate. But incomplete. Have we taught people how to actually do healthy community? Is the question. Are we equipping men and women to ensure that people are thriving in these small group settings?

Because, hey, proximity isn't intimacy. And being around people isn't the same as being known. And being known isn't automatically the same as being safe and feeling safe. We rightly identified the mechanism for connecting people. But do people understand how the mechanism functions?

People need to learn how to. And I have a list of know-hows, like know-how to listen well. People need to know how to speak honestly, how to disagree without attacking, how to establish boundaries, how to receive correction.

How to offer correction, how to confess openly, how to forgive completely, how to ask for help, how to respect confidentiality, how to take responsibility, how to be vulnerable. Jesus says now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.

So you can't simply tell people to connect and assume they know how to connect well. And I see clients who, especially couples, that are completely off the grid when it comes to connectivity with church and small groups.

You know, Sunday attenders occasionally, but more regularly online. And many of these individuals, they don't even see the value because the learn how, know how, show me how is missing. And they're all from Missouri, y'all. The show me state.

Man, I lived in St. Louis for about six years, and people would always say, I'm from Missouri, you got to show me. For a while, I was like, man, what are they talking about? And then I caught on. Man, you got to show me. You can't just tell me.

That is why community doesn't become healthy simply because we put people in a room together. We got to show them. Remember episode four? Spiritual activity doesn't equal spiritual maturity. A small group isn't automatically healthy because they meet every Tuesday night.

The Deeper False Ideas Holding Us Back

I want to just dive into the deeper myth behind all three of these myths. And the three myths can ultimately reinforce two false ideas. False idea number one, the answer is inside of me.

You know, self-help can become if I can just discover myself, find myself, understand myself, affirm myself. And work hard enough, man, I can fix things.

False idea number two, the answer is outside of me. And that can become, man, my therapist will fix me. My spouse will complete me. My church community will heal me. Just being around other people, man, that'll heal me. The right relationship will make me whole.

The Path of Renewing Your Mind

But scripture points us somewhere deeper. It points us deeper. And he talks about going deeper, really. In Romans chapter 12, verse 2. It says, Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind.

In Ephesians 4:22-24, the same concept. He says you were taught with regard to your former way of life to put off your old self, to be made new in the attitude of your minds and to put on the new self created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

Do not be conformed to a pattern. What pattern? Just the patterns that we've already talked about. It says, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind. Allow the word to transform you. Ephesians says you were taught.

Remember, we talked about people need to be taught. People do better when they're taught better. He says, you were taught what? To put off your old self, to be made new in the attitude of your mind, and to put on the new self.

And guess what? The new self was created to be like God. Because 1 John 4:17 says, In this world, we are like him. Like who? We're like Jesus. So following Jesus isn't another self-improvement program.

He's calling us into a life that depends on him. So put out into deep waters and let down the nets for a catch. This mind renewal concept, I would say, is the thing that we are missing.

Understanding how we need to renew our minds by being transformed as we encounter this Lord, this Christ, it will dispel the myths. So to wrap things up, the answer isn't simply deeper self-knowledge.

And the answer isn't even finding the right people. And it certainly isn't just blank. The deeper answer is mind renewal through our relationship with God. Don't conform to the pattern. Be transformed by the renewal of your mind.

Where have you been looking for something only God can ultimately provide through transformation and renewal of your mindset? Maybe you've been looking for another book, a relationship, another therapist, another church, another strategy or spiritual experience, or maybe another person to finally understand you.

All of those things will fall short of the mind transformation, the mind renewal that needs to happen through our encounter with Jesus.

Film Room Takeaways and Next Steps

Some film room takeaways. Please know, takeaway number one, please know that professional intervention can help you heal without becoming your source of healing. So I want to make that clear.

Number two, the acts of prayer or Bible study aren't shortcuts around transformation. They are part of our relationship with God who transforms us. Third takeaway: the word just can make complicated struggles sound spiritually simple, and they're not.

Four, connection doesn't automatically create community. Healthy community has to be modeled and learned. And five, the deeper we go with God and His truth, the more we will experience transformation through mind renewal.

Hey, if you're realizing that you spent a lot of time trying to fix yourself, understand yourself, or simply push through your struggles, maybe it's time to slow down and examine what's really happening beneath the surface.

Through a space of grace counseling, I offer a complimentary 30-minute discovery call where we can talk about your story, what's keeping you stuck, and whether biblical counseling is the right next step for you.

Now this isn't about giving you another quick answer. It's not just this. It's about creating a graceful space to slow down, tell the truth, and begin looking at your life through the lens of God's truth. You'll find the link to schedule in the show notes.

Now I want to go ahead and lead us at this time in our locker room prayer. Father, help us recognize the difference between using good tools and depending on them to transform us. Lead us deeper into your truth and into a relationship with you.

Teach us to receive from you what we cannot manufacture for ourselves, so that we can faithfully give to others what you have first given to us. In Jesus' name, Amen.

We've spent the last several episodes examining patterns, myths, and some of the places we go looking for answers when we're struggling. But there's a deeper question underneath all of this. What do you actually believe about where life, transformation, healing, and wholeness come from?

And Jesus asked his disciples in Matthew 16, who do people say the Son of Man is, referring to himself. Who do people say the Son of Man is? And the disciples answered, You know, some say John the Baptist, others say Elijah, still others one of the prophets.

And then Jesus says, But what about you? Who do you say I am? Peter answered, You are the Christ, the Son of the Living God. Man, this guy Peter knew what he believed and knew him in whom he believed. So what about you?

Who do you say the Son of Man is? Because you have to know what you believe and who you truly believe in. Not what sounds good, not what everybody around you is saying, and not even what your church says is conventional to believe.

But what do you actually believe? Who do you actually believe? And that's what we're going to talk about in our next episode. I'm going to tell you one of the convictions that sits at the center of how I counsel, how I teach, how I minister, and why I created the biblical film room.

And it starts with this one belief: a person cannot give that which they do not possess. So hit that subscribe button so you don't miss this next episode. And you know I'm gonna ask you to share the podcast. It just might bring clarity to someone's spiritual direction.

Thank you again for joining me today. Hey, go be a world changer, but not a stranger. So I'll see you next time in the biblical film room where God's word becomes the replay that changes your life. Talk to you soon. Adios.

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Is it time to experience true transformation through renewing your mind?

If you're ready to move beyond "just praying about it" and want to explore how biblical counseling can help you encounter Christ in your struggles, let's connect. Schedule your complimentary 30-minute discovery call here.(https://orchid.exchange/professional-search/Michael-McGinnis)